by Stacy de la Rosa

Last month we explored where our starting points were on our maps, and we will be spending some time there in my next article before we head down the road. However, this month we are going to determine where it is we are going, our destination.

When defining what our dreams are for ourselves it isn’t always as clearly defined as it may seem. I used to be envious of those who I imagined had that one specific goal that was, in my mind, all encompassing for them. That thing they said they knew they were destined to do or become – an Olympic figure skater, a singer/songwriter, a musician, a surfer, a teacher, an actor.  All I ever knew for sure about myself was that I was creative and doing anything creative was the water for my garden, without it I shrivel. But being creative didn’t seem specific enough, especially when pursuing a specific dream – no one says “my dream is to be creative”. Each of us are already creative, that’s a given.

Our dreams also grow, change and evolve as we do. My dream many years ago was to work for the Walt Disney Co. as an artist, which became a reality. Years later it was to become a mama, which happily has now become my most treasured reality. Now, my dream is discovering how I can use my creativity to consciously connect with and serve others in a way that is authentic to my values. A big part of what I am exploring and creating is to help others awaken and connect to the beauty already present in their own lives. So, I am here holding hands with you, building my road map too.

But my dreams don’t end with my creative career pursuits, I also dream of living in Paris for a year, opening a bed and breakfast with my husband somewhere along the central coast, cultivating a beautiful and edible garden on my own property, dreadlocking my hair, teaching a workshop in Hawaii, leading 100-step photowalks around the world, writing a book, or five… the dream list goes on.

Late bloomer that I am, it took me a while to understand that we are allowed to pursue more than one creative dream. Hurrah! You mean, I DON’T have to choose just one passion to follow, because between you and me, a huge road block of mine for years was being told by many that I needed to choose just one path in order to be successful.  That falsehood kept me good and stuck for years. Do I choose photography? Do I choose writing? Do I choose designing? Do I try and get a loan to open up a boutique? Do I go to culinary school? I couldn’t choose just one so I chose nothing for a very long time.

Thank goddess that I finally embraced the truth that our dreams change, evolve and are plentiful for each of us and we don’t have to choose just one to follow. Instead, we are free to choose the ones which speak to us the loudest and find ways to bridge them and build roadmaps for them as a way to honor their calling. The beauty of this is recognizing that many of our dreams can work together. I know there are ways I can combine my dreams of photography, writing and food for instance.

So, how do we know which of our dreams speak to us the loudest?  Well, when we pay attention I think we already intuit the ones that light us up from within when we think or talk about them. But, if you are having some trouble defining which are calling out to you the loudest, I have a couple of suggestions.

1) Write them down: There is great power in writing something down. It gets it out of your head so you can see it with your eyes and release it from within you. Give yourself the gift of say twenty minutes to get quiet, clear out any and all distractions and just start writing them down. It doesn’t matter if the dream seems silly – one of my silly (to me) dreams is to be on television one day – just write them down and then notice which ones you keep coming back to afterward. Use your intuition for this part – that feeling inside you that excites you and speaks to you without words but emotion. Highlight or draw hearts or stars around the ones you keep staring at that are calling to you, even if you don’t know why you are drawn to it, even if you think you somehow shouldn’t be drawn to it. In a few days come back to the list and see if these same ones speak to you. If they do, these are the ones vying for your attention.

* A quick note about dreams vs. goals: Dreams are that which stir your soul and awaken your spirit. Goals are that which we create to turn our dreams into our reality. Try and pay attention to this difference as you define your dreams making sure you are not listing goals rather than dreams.

If you find yourself writing things such as “Making a million dollars before I am thirty” or “Winning the lottery” or “Getting out of debt”, you are on the goal road and will most likely hit a dead end soon if this is your sole motivation. Abundance is something we all want to achieve and is a valid and important goal to create, but dreams are never about money. Dreams are that thing within us that we would do even if we never made one penny given the opportunity. Dreams light us up because they are birthed within us to help or solve something the world needs. The beauty of awakening our truest dreams, those aligned with our highest values, is abundance always seems to hold hands with those that find and follow what calls out to them.

2) Try some of your dreams on to see how they fit and adjust where necessary: My first photography class was in junior high school. I fell in love with the fragileness of film, the smell of developer and the red-tinted sexiness of the darkroom. I even won an award for one of my photos. However, the technical aspect of the camera never made sense to me, I don’t grasp numbers well. Therefore, I never took pursuing photography very seriously. I never allowed myself to just have fun with it until a few years ago when I started my blog and wanted images to go along with my posts. I decided to just shoot photos for me and just play, without the pressure of needing to know the technical aspects or call myself a “professional”. In doing so I am finally starting to find my own voice and intuit my way around photography in a way that feels right for me and serves others.

I love cooking and all things food. For years I held a limiting belief that this meant that I should become a chef and work in a restaurant. I enrolled in culinary school and found nothing joyful about it. A few months after that I started my own catering company and found that while I enjoyed the planning aspect of putting an event together, the execution left me feeling depleted and uninspired – it would take me days to recover from an event. After trying this dream of a career in food on I found that cooking for the masses is not energizing to me and I am now in the process of discovering and creating other ways to share my love of food.

If there is something you are wonderfully and wildly curious about, whatever it is, try it before you decide you aren’t it.

3) Talk to a trusted friend: A while ago I was really struggling with defining some of my goals. I was having a hard time connecting what it was that I could offer based on what I already knew. A dear and trusted friend of mine asked me to just start talking about my passions and vision and so I did. And she simply listened. After I talked her most patient ear off, she shared with me that I used the same word about twenty-five times in my monologue and my whole being lit up and became animated when doing so. I couldn’t see what she saw in that moment. She gave me a mirror and a huge gift that day which I am grateful for.

Find someone you trust that will just listen to you and watch your body language without giving you advice about what you should or shouldn’t be doing. Talk to them without editing yourself for as long as it takes and then have them share their observations. Allow them to give you this gift and be open to receiving something you may have overlooked as part of your dream.

To create the beginnings of our road map we must first define where we are starting from and where we are going which we are exploring. Next up: Thoughts on unpacking our old baggage before packing for the road ahead.

by Stacy de la Rosa

Maps are created to get us where we wish to go. But look at any map and you will see it can sometimes be challenging to define a straight line between Point A to Point B, despite what simple math tells us. There are often unforeseen obstacles along the way – I may come across unexpected road closures, bumper to bumper traffic, mountains to navigate or storms to weather. Perhaps I will come across a field of wild flowers that compel me to pull over and see if I can finally figure out how to use my SX-70 camera and a host of other unknown adventures along the way that my map won’t be able to show me.

I realized by revealing some helpful clues about what Point A and Point B actually look like for me, I could create and include alternative routes in my dream guide should I come across some of the unforeseen obstacles mentioned before heading out.

To get to where I want to go I need to first ask myself two questions:

1) Where do I want to go?
2) Where am I starting from?

Let’s start with the second question since in some ways I found it’s more important to know where I was before I could define where I want to go.

Am I starting from a place of worry, anxiety or fear about what lies on the road ahead? Am I starting from a place of nervous anticipation, excited energy, impatience and itching to just get moving on my dreams already? (It turns out that this is where I usually start from, which I why I often forget my road map) Am I starting from a place of planning and creating lists for everything I would need to pack along the way so I wouldn’t forget anything? (I only wish I were this organized.) Am I starting from a place of familiarity? Having turned a few of my dreams into reality I wonder what tools could I include from those lessons for this new map I am creating?

No matter where our individual starting point is, I try to remember that there isn’t a preferred place to start, even if the road is a familiar one. A starting point is simply that, a place to start. What is important to remember is to be honest about defining where we are on the map to create a better visual for the journey ahead.

My next column will talk about where I want to go, but if you are creating your own road map with me, where are you starting from?

*stop by and visit stacy’s brand new website and send her some pixel*love!