by laura fenamore

photo by mindy

Probably the hardest thing that we deal with in our lives is doubt. Oh sure, we go through enormously difficult situations – we lose jobs, we lose loved ones, we get sick, the list of hardships can be mind boggling.

But doubt is probably the most difficult hardship to conquer. It can literally come from nowhere and can feel like the snake in the garden, winding itself sneakily through our joys and our confidences. It can attach itself to our best relationships and undermine our finest moments.

Before his death, Socrates once described pleasure and pain as two sides of the same coin, saying that one could hardly live without the other. I wonder if we too easily cast doubt into the same pot as pain and disregard its enormous value to us as human beings. If we can accept doubt as part of our life process of faith, we can see that they are literally the yin and yang of one thing, rather than being at odds with one another.

Doubt and Faith. I suppose we much too easily believe that the opposite of love is hate or apathy. When in truth, the thing at odds with deep love is that undermining thread of doubt. Like the Buddha says though, life is suffering, and if we can accept that it is so, we can simply ride the wave of life and love each part, each experience, even the painful ones. They are part of our human adventure, and they make the beautiful all the more rich. And the wisdom and compassion that is born out of pain is immeasurable. So how can it be bad?

The waves of doubt in our love stories is no different. They are natural, they are human. We have not caused them, nor can we prevent them. But if we accept that this is as it should be, we can ride them . We can ride the ups and downs of our deep loves and know that they are beautiful and strong. The doubt is not bad.

The truest loves, in fact, are simply not the waves. They are the ocean. So deep and so strong that the tossing waves are only on the surface. Underneath, they are flowing, beautiful currents.

As human beings those waves of doubt will run through everything worth loving. They will run through our relationships, they will run through our efforts to love ourselves. They will ripple from our birth to our death, and even have the audacity to touch our experience with the Great Creator. We will doubt It’s love for us and our own right to exist. We will wonder what this life IS.

If we are able, however, to ride those waves with some expertise, the depth of love is always there to enfold us. This is the yin and yang of love. IF we allow it, we will grow to know that it cannot exist except with a love worth doubting. We are supposed to question the things of worth. We are literally born to question life itself.

Love is the one thing that joins us. It leaps tall prejudice in a single bound. It conquers speeding apathy with a word. It breaks all threads of division – race, religion, nationality, sexuality – LOVE is the great bond rising above all of those things. So bring on the doubt. I will know you, doubt, by your fruit, and for that reason, I will welcome you.

My love is the ocean, and her name is Kathleen, and I married her 3 years ago this month. She is my ocean. She brings me light and life. And she sets my creativity on fire. She listens, honors, supports me, holds me and when I feel held, doubt may sometimes creep in but the current of Love is way stronger.

Thank you Kathleen for every moment. Every doubt, every fear, every joy, every heartbeat. Everything.

Then I can end with some points/tips on how to accept doubt, or just end as it is?

and if you do not like it, no worries.

laura xo

Laura Fenamore, CPCC, is a Body Image Mastery Coach and Mentor, and creator of OnePinky.com. You are all invited to www.OnePinky.com to sign up for Laura’s Body Image Checklist which is a wonderful tool to get you started on having a body you really respect and like a lot.

by lisa johnson

When I signed up for the necklace project, I wasn’t sure if I could really be considered an artist. I write and take pictures. Make bookmarks and cards. I cook and especially bake. But was that enough to be considered an artist for this project? I wasn’t sure, but I signed up anyway.

So I followed along on the wishstudio blog. Reading the stories of the women who were part of the project and admiring the beauty of each new charm.

But then I stopped seeing posts. And I hadn’t received the necklace. Had the project ended? Was it lost? Maybe I wasn’t artsy enough after all. Luckily, within days, I received a package in the mail. What could it be? I wasn’t expecting anything. At that point, the necklace didn’t even cross my mind.

I opened the package. And there it was. It took more than a year to receive, but I finally had the necklace! Often when I’m about to give up on something that I shouldn’t, the universe seems to send me a sign saying not to get discouraged.

For the charm, I repurposed parts of a ring and an earring that had broken. The pieces were too pretty to discard, so I had saved them. I knew that they could be used for something. My life has been in transition for the past couple of years. Almost more changes have happened than I can comprehend sometimes. So taking something that no longer worked, and making it new and useful again by becoming part of something bigger, resonated with me on many levels.

After finishing the charm, I started thinking about where I’d wear the necklace. I wanted to do something exciting for the post. However, as each of my plans fell apart one by one, I decided to accept that the universe seemed to have something else in store. So I gave up and just wore it around the house one day.

This necklace was a lesson in patience and acceptance. I meditated with it and contemplated all the good that was passed to me from those who wore it before. And I hope I passed on that good and lessons learned to those who will wear it after me.

“Do not concern yourself with the questions, “What is art?” or “Who is an artist?” Everything is art. If what you see and do comes from your heart, you are an artist.”

Yesterday, I found the above quote on a Flickr page. It answered my initial doubts and made me very glad that I trusted my instincts and joined this wonderful project.

* * *

Lisa Johnson lives in Quincy, Massachusetts and blogs at Anali’s First Amendment.

by kim mcmechan

“How you spend your days is how you spend your life.”

-Annie Dillard

Yesterday I saw swans.

It was Saturday, and the morning had been spent indoors with my daughters at each other’s throats, then their techno music blaring from the back room (not my choice in tunes—it’s a mix CD one of them brought home in a birthday party goody bag—I find it only slightly more tolerable than kazoos).  There were a few crucial emails to answer and a parking ticket to pay through some complicated online payment system that took longer to navigate than actually getting in the car and paying in person.

Most Saturdays, when I’m in town, I work a four-hour shift at a small coffee shop a few blocks away.  I’m prone to leaving the house too late and having to power walk the ten minutes there, but lately I’ve been trying to ask more for what I want, and what I wanted yesterday was a good long thinking-walk by the water before my work shift.

So despite the guilt (don’t I ask for enough already?  He’s busy too…) I asked my husband if he minded if I left half an hour earlier than usual.  He didn’t mind at all.

I put my boots and coat on and headed down to the footpath that winds along the edge of the lake.  The sidewalks were bare from a freak melt earlier in the week and the water was sparkling with a million pinpricks of sunlight.  I was zoning to the rhythm of my feet scuffing the sidewalk when suddenly I saw them—five swans bobbing like sailboats out on the water.  Wild swans are rare around here and the sight of them made my breath catch in my throat.

As I watched them floating carelessly on the lake’s glittering surface, I felt immense gratitude swell in my chest.   Thank you, I said under my breath, hoping somehow the breeze would carry my words to them.

I stood there for a while, feeling so calmed and smoothed-out and like I was standing smack-dab in the middle of a miracle.  But then it occurred to me that I would not have gotten that miracle in the first place had I not asked for what I wanted and put my boots on and headed out.

I grew up in a fairly conservative church environment.  I’m not sure whether it was something I misunderstood or something that was intentionally communicated to me, but somewhere along the line, I developed a fairly fatalistic approach to life.

The steps of the righteous are ordered of God.

What is meant to happen will happen.

Let go and let God.

In my formative years, I took these messages to mean that there was not much I could do to further my desires and better my life.  I internalized this idea as a sense of powerlessness:  why try?

I think we all struggle at times with remembering that we have the ability to actively direct our lives.  Even now, after consciously dismantling my negative belief system, I have to remind myself again and again that my choices matter, that the steps I take will bear fruit and will—at least in part—determine the course of my path.

I think when things are going well, it’s easier to remember this.   We can bask in the good results of a project completed or a friendship made.  But for me, this past fall and early winter seemed to pile up with failures—a grant application sent back “unapproved”, a piece of writing rejected, website troubles, and one too many shows played with the bar blender whirring in the background.  I had begun to wonder what the point was:  Does the world really need one more singer-songwriter?

Today, I’m at my desk again.  I’ve scheduled in some songwriting time for tomorrow night, I’m working out the bugs on my blog and I called my cellist to book him for a few bigger March & April shows.

The swans yesterday felt like a timely reminder that by the small choices I make every day, I am participating in the direction of my life, and that if I just show up, things will happen.

by shona cole

Being a full time mother is a big job. There are these little people who depend on us for their happiness, health, safety, for their very existence! It takes a whole lot of thought and focus to learn how to do that well. Each child comes into this world with a different set of needs and personality. So the mothering of each child is like the creation of a slightly new painting!

Of course we moms have other things we want to do. We were once single young women with dreams and aspirations. Our parents poured into us the idea that we could be something and do something with our lives. That doesn’t go away once we become mothers.

We have to do the mothering thing justice. We would be devastated if we failed. How we ‘perform’ affects a human life and those that our children interact with. We all want to raise good decent citizens of the world!

But we don’t want to loose our identities in the process.

So how should we proceed? Should we lower our standards for our mothering? No, that bar should be very high. So then, lower the standard for our art? No, but I think the expectations of how fast we can achieve our artistic goals needs to be adjusted. Remember the turtle and the hare fable? That slow steady turtle completed the course. She just took a little longer.

When we have done everything we could for ourselves – carved out what is wasting our time, optimized our time management, given that time back to art. When we have poured ourselves into our kids. Know that they are good and growing in the right direction. Then, and this is the kicker, we have to rein in our desire to achieve excellence ‘now’, stop railing against ourselves, our lack of achievement and instead practice ‘Active Satisfaction’.

‘Active Satisfaction’ is

Being satisfied with our life in the present, while still holding on to our ambition.

Being satisfied with the time we have, secure in the knowledge that the sacrifice is in a good cause.

Being satisfied that, while our art time is minimum, our artistic skills are getting a little exercise. In time, as the kids grow older and more self sufficient we can do more for our own ambition and we won’t be rusty.

Being satisfied in capturing one or two decent photos instead of a whole pro. photoshoot.

Being satisfied in using rubber stamps in a mixed media piece cause we don’t have the time to practice our own sketching or designs.

Being satisfied in using scrapbook papers as backgrounds as we have not gotten around to getting  the paints.

Being satisfied in borrowing ideas from other artists cause we don’t have the time to develop a brand new artistic line.

Being satisfied in writing a quick poem here or there and not a complete volume of poems on a coherent theme.

Being satisfied in each step we take, knowing that we are on the right path regardless of what the world says we could have been.

Is it easy to achieve/maintain Active Satisfaction? No. It takes conviction, thought and continual refocus. But “Nothing ever comes to one, that is worth having, except as a result of hard work.” Booker T. Washington.

Artistic Mother, the road is hard, but worth it.

pack your tutu and join us march 21st – march 27th for 10 amazing creative living workshops
by 10 super rock-starcreative ecamp counselors, and much much more…

Darrah Parker ::  A Slice of Inspiration: Photographing Gratitude and Your eCamp Experience

Kate Swoboda :: Creative Critics: Shifting Critical Voices Within the Creative Process

Shannon Kinney Duh :: Play Create Reflect (and Be Free!)

Andrea Schroeder :: Rainbow~licious Creative Healing Circle

Shona Cole ::  Finding Your Artistic Vision {and Blasting Through the Funk!}

Liz Lamoreaux ::  Creative Senses Adventure & Guided Meditation

there will also be camp T-shirts, daily ecamp mail, campfire gatherings and activities, as well as community “cabinmates”… and don’t forget the s’mores!  see the full class descriptions and registration details here

see you at camp!

by thien-kim

Flirty and Fancy Free

I have this obsession with panties. I love buying panties: lace ones, boy shorts, panties with bows-as long as it’s makes me smile, I love them.

I don’t wear fun and fancy undies for my husband. I wear them for myself. They make me feel sexy, confident, and carefree. Just because I’m wearing yesterday’s jeans with a t-shirt suspiciously sporting crumbs in the shape of baby hands doesn’t mean I have to give up being sexy.

Try wearing some fancy panties one day this week. You’ll walk taller, maybe even sashay a bit. Your friends will notice something different about you but won’t be able to point their fingers on it. That one little piece of clothing will create a major change in your attitude.

It’s fun to go out and buy undies, but how about upcycling some plain boring ones into something a bit more exciting? Use that fun lace or ribbon you’ve been hoarding to create some fun boudoir panties for yourself. Wear them as you sit on the couch doodling in your sketchpad or as you pen your latest poem. Dare you sleep in them?

Boudoir undies are fun and easy to make.  As a former costume designer, I have a love of corsets. It’s completely impractical to wear them in everyday life, but why not add that element to my undies? The tulle ruffles around the legs adds another flirty, ultra-feminine element to them.

Upcycled Corset Inspired Boudoir Panties

Supplies

• Cotton undies. Make sure it’s a cut/style that makes you feel good about yourself. For this tutorial, I chose boy shorts. Cotton is the easiest to sew but if you’re an advance sewer, feel free to choose a different material
• The “eye” part of hook and eyes
• ¼” to ½” wide ribbon in a contrasting color
• Thread in same color as ribbon (or other contrasting color)
• 3-4 yards of tulle, ribbon, or lace between 1 ½” to 2 ½” wide (scraps are also perfect for this)

Instructions

Measure the area you’d like the faux corset lacing to be, making sure you don’t go too low. I chose the backside of my undies. Using a ruler and chalk (you can use a colored pencil), I marked where each spot I wanted the eyes. I hand sewed each eye with a contrasting colored thread. For these panties, I used 8 eyes, 4 on each side. Once they are sewn on, lace the ribbon through the “loops” you’ve created with the eyes. Tie the ribbon in a bow, or a knot.

For the ruffles around the legs, I cut strips of tulle from the skirt of this dress, which I had cut up the top for another project. I cut the tulle approximately 2 ½” wide and each piece was about 2 ½ yards long (the width of the dress’ skirt). You can also use lace, strips of t-shirt scraps, or ribbon.

Thread your sewing machine in a contrasting color thread. I used the same color that I used to hand sew the eyes on. Using a zig-zag stitch, sew your trim on the legs of your underwear, on the outside of them. Make sure to slightly stretch the panties as you sew.

If you’re using tulle like me, to create the ruffles, I just bunched up the tulle right before it fed under the presser foot. Essentially, I’m sewing folds into the tulle as I go along. You an do the same with ribbon.

How much trim you use depends on how large the leg openings are. I didn’t measure my trim ahead of time, but just bunched the tulle and zig-zagged it to the panties. When I ran out of tulle, I just added another strip right on top and started bunching again. Make sure you backstitch or sewn over your beginning stitching when you go all the way around. That way you lock in your stitches and they won’t come loose.

Voila, now you have some boudoir panties!

The variations on this project are endless. Add your flair to it. If hearts make you happy, sew felt hearts to some undies. Want some sparkles? Embellish the waistband with some crystals or beads. Add what makes you happy.

What are you going to do while you wear your boudoir undies?

A costume designer in her former life, Thien-Kim loves working with fabric and fiber as well as getting her hands messy with paint. She encourages everyone to sit down with their favorite cuppa and find a few minutes to sit and create over at Cup of Creativi-Tea. As a mother of 2 young children, she blogs about the joys and challenges of working from home and raising bilingual and multi-ethnic children at I’m Not the Nanny. When she’s not online, she inspires women to take charge of their bedroom pleasure her Passion Parties, where women can add exciting boudoir goodies to their passion pantry.

i recently discovered the core connection between my sexuality and my creative energy, and it was such an aha moment that i wanted to share it with all of you!  it’s what gave me the idea to post about some sexy topics this week here in the wishstudio because i knew it was an important conversation not many bring up in this rhelm.  at first glance you may wonder…”mindy, what the heck does my sex life have to do with my creative life?”… and my answer to you is simply, everything.

hard to believe right? well, i’ve found in chatting with many women over the years that most of us put our sex lives low on the priority list.  for some of us we even see this as another chore we have to take care of amidst the zillions of things that demand our time.  what happens then is we are often so disconnected from our sexuality, that it is truly impossible to embrace ourselves authentically as a whole.  authenticity is something we talk about a lot in this arena, and to be honest if you are not in tune with your sensual and sexual side (because like it or not, we are all sexual beings), you are not really living completely and joyfully.  so i’m here to encourage you to open up and explore and love this side of yourself more (even you skeptics who say you don’t need or even enjoy sex – i’m speaking loudly especially to you!).

our sexuality and sensual side can be an immense source of pleasure.  in many ways, it is the physical definition of pleasure.  though in order to enjoy this part of ourselves we have really be in tune with our desires, let go of shame, and embrace our imperfect bodies.  these are often really hard things to do and is also why so many of us have left this part of ourselves behind.

it’s just like embracing your imperfections to find the courage to create!  as laura said earlier this week, it is the same core energy (see the lightbulb go on?!?).  letting go of our inhibitions and sexual hang ups can be immensely gratifying and freeing, in a way i wasn’t honestly expecting.  without sharing the nitty gritty, you can all probably imagine the sex life of a later 30 something, wife of 12+ years, and busy work at home/stay at home mother.  standards get very low :)  this has all changed.

i’m here to tell you that exploring and getting creative in this part of life can have tremendous and positive impacts on your energy level, your self esteem, your passion for all things (not just sexually), and the care and feeding of your relationships with not only your significant other, but especially yourself!  this doesn’t mean you have to be swinging from the chandelier scantily clad and shooting whipped cream all over your bits (though that might be fun!), but what it really means is getting honest about how you feel physically and accept how you exist in this very moment, and not say “when i’m ten pounds thinner i’ll be able to enjoy sex.” (which is often a big leap of trust and faith in yourself), and then allowing yourself to receive pleasure.

let me say that part again… allow yourself to receive pleasure!

in a world where we as women give and give and give, just as with success, compliments, gifts of time and love, we need to give ourselves permission to have and enjoy sexual pleasure.  it is o.k.  in fact it is more than ok.  it is a vital part of our being.  just like our creativity.  if we can feel our sensuality a bit more, know what makes us feel yummy and delicious and experience that alone or with another, you will find another rich layer of this authentic creative life we are all trying to live.  this is a great journaling exercise for you too, to simply write a list of things that turn you on and maybe one or two of these things you might feel brave enough to share with someone you love (believe me, they’ll be so happy you did!).  we talk a lot about being brave here too, and it completely applies to this aspect of our lives as well.

trust me.  give it a try.  let yourself embrace a little pleasure, and soon you won’t want to live without it.  and you shouldn’t!

because you are worth it… every joy.  every success.  every happiness.  every bit of love.

‘Water Dance’ Laura Hollick dancing in Albion Falls. Photo by Johan Wigt

Creative energy and sexual energy are the same for me.  Both are life force energy.  When I am creating I feel like I am engaged in a Divine Love Affair. It is as if I’m completely allowing life to move through me and I am trusting every nuance as if it were a whisper or kiss from a lover.  There is tremendous sensuality in allowing life force energy to flow through uninhibited.

The Divine Love Affair is a merging of energies. I experience it like a union of opposites.  When opposite forces come together something new is birthed.  This is when genius creativity happens.  We all have opposites that live within us as well as around us.

For example we all have male and female energies within us, when they merge it is the Divine Love Affair in action.  Another example of opposite energies coming together are Earth and Spirit. Earth is tangible and Spirit is intangible, when you bring these two energies together something new is born.


Here are 10 tips to begin your Divine Love Affair and unleash your creativity:

1. Devote time every day to connecting with your Spirit.
2. Trust yourself and trust that life wants the best for you.
3. Invite more sensuality into your life, let yourself feel.
4. Make Self Care a high priority.
5. Be conscious of your thoughts, awareness is golden.
6. Breathe life into your ideas by journalling about them or creating them.
7. Continuously nudge beyond your comfort zone.
8. Risk going for your dreams even when don’t know how.
9. Make the commitment to yourself to make your life the expression of who you really are.
10. Believe in your beauty and share it with others.

I would love to invite your community to sign up to watch Soul Art TV.  Deepen your own Divine Love Affair with the passionate interview series called The Creative Spiritual Revolution.  You can sign up for free at: http://www.soulartstudio.com/revolution
The Divine Love Affair is like living your dreams awake!

image by briceferre (visit his etsy shop!)

you are sexy!  most days we are running in twelve different directions and the furthest thing from our minds is s.e.x.  so i wanted to suggest a few fun ways to embrace our inner sexkitten.  thinking of ourselves as sexy and playing with things that might get our engines started is great way to build self confidence and is a really important aspect to embracing our authentic selves (and one we quite often neglect!).   today, be the sexy goddess that you are and have some fun too…

• put on your tutu, twirl and shake your bootie (for yourself or for someone else!)
• shop on etsy for some cute sexy adornments and wear them just for fun
• take some time to connect with your body: take a yoga class, get a massage, take a long hot bath with your favorite yummy products
• cook something sensual: make fondue or other festive appetizers you can eat, and feed, with your fingers. yum!
• dine as the sexy modern girl you are: get dolled up and treat yourself to candlelight, a martini, and a gourmet meal. enjoy the experience with all of your senses.
• write an erotic story in your journal, share if you dare!
• watch an erotic movie and “snuggle” unabashedly
• sleep naked: dress your bed with your favorite sheets, cute pillows, and turn up the heat and get cozy.
• have an alluring photo shoot: put on something a little racy and have a close friend or sweetie takes some fun pictures of you (silliness is a must!)
• go commando! wear your favorite long skirt, knee socks or thigh highs, and your favorite boots… no one will know (unless you tell ;) and you’ll feel so naughty and free!
• forgive and love your body: (you can do it!) stand in the mirror, and say i love you.  you are beautiful just as you are!
  
• make tit prints (and enjoy the messy fun!): yes… i do mean paint+your boobies= a special valentine for someone you love
• don a temporary tattoo someplace sexy!
• give oodles of love to yourself!  craft yourself a valentine or send yourself a love letter filled with sentiments and compliments. don’t hold back!
• share your creative sexy ideas here…

happy LOVE day everyone!

and stay tuned for a whole week of sexy FUN :)

xoxo, mindy

by michelle ensminger

my little cousin, flying high!

my husband and i had a really inspiring conversation recently about what we wanted out of our professional lives – not just in a practical sense, but in terms of the big picture – our big dreams!  it was incredibly liberating and igniting.  i know i’ve written here about the huge shift our lives have taken… a real inward leap towards embracing ourselves and ultimately towards one another other.  as a result, we are closer than we have ever been.  we want big things from our lives and more importantly we know we can get there. together.

we talked about our vision for the future, his dream job and mine, and what i realized was that that although we both have very different goals for ourselves we have the same exact trajectory.  we want to end up in the same meadow of happiness and fulfillment, laying in each others arms and feeling the warmth of a life well loved and well lived.  in fact in many ways i feel like we are already in that place, not taking one moment of joy for granted.

life is just too damn short and too full of possibility and luscious experiences.  we are feasting!

a huge step in the direction was finally getting some help!  we hired our first childcare provider and a personal asst. for wishstudio (insert happy dance here!).  in all honestly, i have never left my kids with a sitter other than family or friends. ever.  it is time.  it’s time to let out the line and make the trade off: a sense of control and supposed security, for freedom.  though it means a huge amount of trust and faith in letting go, it’s going to open up our lives to so much.  it reminds me of this  picture i saw of my teeny little cousin the other day, flying through the air, letting go of one trapeze bar to grab the next.  this is how we make our lives.  catch and release to grab hold of what’s next…and enjoy the thrill of all that’s in between!

{read part two in my journal here}

by christine mason miller

Last month I wrote a piece for Gypsy Girl’s Guide about a literary journal called Granta. Well, really the piece was about Pakistan, but it all started with Granta, which is just one in a long list of off-the-beaten-path publications I’ve enjoyed ever since I decided to further my writing practice. I chose that particular volume of Granta ~ a UK-based “magazine of new writing” ~ because of its focus on Pakistan. Not knowing much of anything about that part of the world, I thought it would be an interesting way to educate myself about a country as mysterious to me as the disappearance of so many socks between the time they are deposited into our laundry basket and the moment I go to retrieve them from our dryer.

Purchasing journals like these has been part of my work as a writer. My husband and I often kill time at a Barnes & Noble close to one of the movie theaters we frequent, and many times I end up walking out with a publication I’ve never read before. I scour the magazine rack, see what catches my eye, and peruse the contents to see if it is worth bringing home. I’ve even done this at international airports, eager to take advantage of what might not be as readily available stateside. I have enjoyed stories, artwork, essays, and photography from Granta, Elephant, Fourth Genre, Sun Magazine, Zoetrope, American Short Fiction, Poets & Writers, and GUP International Photography Magazine (The India Issue.) Each one has rewarded me with new insights into other areas around the globe, as well as everything from writing styles to life experiences. My favorite stories and features have been about an adoptive mother, the aftermath of Katrina, Indian expats living in the United States, and one entitled Microworlds: The Incredible Shrinking Subject, or the art of miniaturized worlds. Each of these journals and the stories within their pages offering me tiny peeks into worlds I would not have otherwise been exposed to so intimately. They inspire me as a writer, artist, and student of the world, always eager to learn as much as I can about humanity, creativity, and everything in between.

Flipping through pages of Vanity Fair and Oprah are always a good way to enjoy some light hors d’oeuvres, literarily speaking, but when I really want to dive into a savory, multi-course meal with exotic ingredients and delectable sauces, I pick up something I’ve never read before, and savor every morsel.

by tammy novak

When Mindy asked me to be a guest blogger in the Wishstudio this month, my first thought was, “Oh no, she accidently sent this email to me…how do I craft a reply that confidently says that I would love to, even though I know you didn’t mean to ask me!”  I mean, it HAD to be a mistake, right?!!

Geez, I had to laugh at myself!  The tagline on my newly created blog is “I believe”.   But my lack of self confidence and belief in what I had to offer the readers of Wish Studio right now, was minimal to say the least!  I am a newbie to the art world.  What do I possibly have to say?

The beginning…

About to become an empty-nester, my definition of myself over the years had become my children’s mom and my husband’s wife.  And I loved it!  I hardly ever said “No” to volunteer projects with PTA, and booster clubs so I was always learning new things and meeting new people – while being with my family.  My husband worked close to home so we could meet for lunch or a drink. Life was good! But all that was about to change as my children began to leave for college and my husband’s business growth required him to travel more. I had more time on my hands. What do I want to do?  What did I dream of doing? I didn’t know.  I hadn’t really thought about it.

Over the years, I had gotten into a way of life that came with directions, video tutorials, follow these steps, use this pattern, here’s the recipe, do this – not that… even my car told me where to go!  I didn’t realize I had lost my spontaneity, my sense of imagination , thinking and living outside the box…I was following the rules of life and trying to keep everything in control and simple.  But that’s not me!

So I set out last January to redefine myself.  My word for 2010 was Challenge, so each month I challenged myself to try new things, stretched my creative muscles.  I started reading blogs, creative magazines, art books, taking e-courses and attending on-line retreats.  That’s how I met Mindy at her Wishfull virtual art retreat last May! (wishBig ecamp is coming soon and you don’t want to miss out!)  I was playing, having fun and getting to know my creative self again.  You know that 10 year old who knew exactly what she wanted to do when she grew up?!   She’s still inside you telling you what to do, you just have to listen.  I did have to fight the “you’re wasting time” and “this isn’t productive” demons.  Sure the laundry stacked up some weeks and we ordered out more than I cooked but it was all part of the process for me to get out of my daily, practical, predictable routine.  I was inspired and dreaming!  The important thing I learned was to listen to ALL areas of my heart.  I love how artist Kristin Noelle shows that in her great illustration below.  For me, making a change in one area affected another.

{art by kristin noelle}

My view of the world, life and of myself was changing with each challenge.  I was excavating, unraveling with Susannah Conway and finding myself in places I wasn’t expecting to find me.   I was beginning to believe in myself as an artist.  Determining what and how I wanted to create was a challenge of its own.  I created a blog (www.tammynovak.blogspot.com ) during August Break (which for real bloggers was down time to just post photos everyday and not write…but for me it was huge!)

Break the rules… there are no rules

However, the idea of creating without directions, no how-to, no patterns, no rules, no GPS! was terrifying!  My “what if” fears of making mistakes, following the wrong passion (I loved so many different kinds of art), blogging stupid things, not being good enough or hating it 6 months later (wasting all that time, effort and money)… paralyzed me!!  And then I attended Squam Art Workshop last September, where I met the most amazing, inspirational women from all over the world, with so many different talents (from beginners, like me, to professionals, like Christine Mason Miller).  It was my biggest challenge and it was fun! My life is forever changed!

Take Action…

Now I knew I needed to create a plan first, a road map, before I could take action. However, that seemed so overwhelming.  I could mess that up, forget a step.  I was my own worst enemy, until I took Christine Mason Miller’s workshop called TODAY BEGIN, here in the Wishstudio.  She broke it down into smaller digestible pieces and before the week was over, I had a plan with a to-do list!  I was actively creating! I had a vision that I believed in!  It was a very powerful step for me.  Even though some personal/family situations have taken priority this winter, I still have my creative vision for 2011 and I am so excited about it.  My word for this year is: GROW.  The seeds have been planted!

No, I don’t have it all figured out…but I DID begin and I have celebrated a few accomplishments I never thought possible just a year ago (like being a guest here in Wish Studio!)  Since I don’t have a new book out…yet, I want to celebrate this post by giving away an autographed copy of Christina Mason Miller’s book Ordinary Sparkling Moments.  Just post a comment below to enter the giveaway.

I challenge you to believe in yourself, create challenges that require action and grow with me this year.

“Magic is believing in yourself.  If you can do that, you can make anything happen.” – Goethe

Tammy Novak is a wife and mother who loves running, photography, scrapbooking, creating with fabric/yarn, drawing with color pencils and learning new things.  All her favorite things to do include family and friends, being outdoors with her dogs, and horse and taking on new challenges.

* All photos were taken with iphone Hipstamatic.

March 21 ~ March 27, 2011

let’s wishBIG & liveBIG together!

featuring…

10 online creative workshops

camp T-shirts for all campers

daily ecamp inspiration mail

daily community campfire activities

ecamp cabinmates

…and it wouldn’t be camp without s’mores!

join me, along with your super-star camp counselors:

Kate Swoboda ~ Your Courageous Life
Jamie Ridler ~ Jamie Ridler Studios
Darrah Parker ~ A Slice of Life
Goddess Leonie ~ Goddess Guidebook
Liz Lamoreaux ~ Be Present, Be Here
Shannon Kinny-Doh ~ Free Spirit Knits
Kelly Barton ~ Kelly Barton Art + Design
Shona Cole ~ The Artistic Mother
Andrea Schroder ~ ABC Creativity
Violette Clarke ~ Violette’s Creative Juice

classes will be announced and
registration will open on February 14th*

pack your bags and get ready to rock your girl power
as we gather round the creative fire!

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