May 2009
wishmamas :: stolen moments
photo by Denise Andrade
I experienced my first miscarriage over Thanksgiving of 2005. A couple months earlier over wine-soaked heart talk in a Paris cafe and again while swooning over the green hills of Germany is when my husband and I officially decided to try and see if we could make ourselves parents and one day return to exploring Europe with our little one in tow. The experience of both traveling through five countries in Europe followed shortly by pregnancy loss forever changed us.
December of that same year I wrote my first post for my blog. I didn’t write about my first miscarriage, but instead I wrote about being laid off from a corporate job I had at the time. During that period in my life, I was feeling lost and loss. Loss over a pregnancy and my means of income and lost as a creative individual. What happened to the girl who knew she wanted to be an artist growing up? How was it that she now found herself being laid off from a dead-end job from corporate hell that stirred no passion and brought forth no soul?
Writing became the release I needed to guide me back and help me to rediscover who I truly am. The words poured out of me back then, both on my blog and in my private journals. It was as if the dormant creative side of myself was feeling me slip away and was reaching out to say, “I’m still here; I’m very much with you. You are not lost; you are very much alive. Keep writing.”
On the one-year anniversary of starting my blog I discovered I had lost my second pregnancy at 13 weeks. My second miscarriage shook me to my core. Through the messiness of pain, healing and struggle to make it through the day at times, I was also able to tap into other parts of my creativity. I began to write from a very honest place inside of me. It wasn’t brilliant writing, but it was my heart spilling forth. I realized that embracing my vulnerability was a pathway to healing. My healing seemed to serve as a doorway to what was also lying dormant inside of me and through the darkness, I soon started to embrace possibility.
In July of 2007, one month after having launched my first creative business, I found out I was once again pregnant. This time I gave birth to a beautiful girl who we named, Isabella Wish. For me, having a child has shown me who I am at my core. Children bring it all out of you: the messy and the real, the beauty and joy. My daughter has taught me to see that when we honor the creative parts of ourselves, we begin to change the world.
I wouldn’t say that being creative is so much a process; I think it’s more about finding whatever it is which brings your creativity out into the open. We are all creative beings –I believe this. Not everyone needs to experience loss to discover, or rediscover, their own creativity, that is just my story; we each have our own story to tell.
Now that I am a mother my time is no longer my own and creative expression takes on an entirely different meaning. As any mother can attest to, creative moments are usually stolen ones. I steal tiny moments throughout the day for myself to write, design, jot down an idea or a sketch. Playtime is when I will bring my camera and let myself be inspired by the colors of nature or my daughter’s laughter when she feels the wind on her face in the park. Or, as in the case of writing these words, sitting alone in my car in the Walt Disney Concert Hall parking garage in downtown Los Angeles.
Creativity, like anything in life, ebbs and flows; on a good day, ideas will burst out of me and I want to pursue them all — and wonder how that is even possible. Then, of course, there are the days where the well is dry and all I can do is curl up on the couch and watch old episodes of “Queer Eye for the Straight Guy” while Isabella naps. I give myself permission to embrace these couch days, as well as my productive days, as I believe they are necessary at times to fill the well as it were .
The fog that comes with being a new mom has left me feeling that my creativity is a bit disjointed for now, but I have fully embraced and accepted that as my daughter becomes more independent, I won’t have to steal as many moments and I will find larger pockets of time to further explore my own creativity. However, in this most wondrous time of her life, and mine, I am a mother first, and an artist second. I love that I can now call myself by both of these names.
For now, I welcome the baby steps and the stolen moments as they appear. These tiny moments are where I continue to find my voice and rediscover the artist within me.
Stacy de la Rosa likes to play with words and pictures. She makes jewelry designed to empower and encourage others at her shop Bella Wish. She is taking baby steps on launching her next creative endeavor, Cupcake. Also, stay tuned for her upcoming column here in the wishstudio. You may also find her at stacydelarosa.com
Read more >>may wish list
i wanted to share with you a few wonderful indie goodies that i found to keep us all wishing big… don’t you just love them all?
follow stephanie on her blog
by plus one design, the adorn purse with hand embroidered dandelion $52
and find kirilly blogging here
inspiration in your bag
here’s a quick little creative challenge for you to do anytime, anywhere…all you need is a glue stick, scissors and your bag or purse!
by creating a collage from things found only in your bag, you will rediscover all the little bits you’ve been collecting and saving, while at the same time cleaning out all the junk you’ve accumulated. i had lots of both.
you will be surprised with what you can create and will find that there is inspiration to be discovered even in the darkest recesses of your wallet.
i used a good sized paint swatch (the white i just painted my new studio space) as my collage background. then by digging through the scraps, coupons, papers, and recipts i grabbed colors and bits that i thought were fun…a vintage ticket, a farmstand recipt, a stamp sticker, another paint chip in the color of pink sky (and the name of my personal blog), some fun words, etc.
at first, it didn’t seem like i had much to work with and i was tempted to grab some other things to fill in the space. as i kept looking though, patterns and colors started jumping out at me from what i had in my pile.
it was a fast and fun way to get a little creativity into my day, and to clean out my overflowing bag!
give it a try… as my collage says “tag, you’re it!” . create your own purse collage and if you like, share it with us (leave a comment here and i will post your link). happy creating! more inspiration shared here and here
Read more >>
a word about the wishmamas project
in both capacities there have often been times i have felt uninspired, overwhelmed and even alone. finding my way creatively and embracing my motherhood has always been a winding road. countless times i have been encouraged and lifted up by what you have to share; so many beautiful little bits of life and wisdom that i have found out there in this big blogging universe. i really wanted to bring a piece of this collective inspiration here to the wishstudio, like a trail of shiny white pebbles to follow as we all try to find our own way. it is a reminder that others do exist who understand our daily triumphs and struggles, and who also want to share the joy and heartache of what lies within.
may your journey be beautiful
an interview with squam creator elizabeth maccrellish
i had the lovely opportunity to connect with the wonderful and creative soul elizabeth maccrellish. many of you might know her from her beloved blog, blue poppy, and others might recognize her from attending one of the great squam art workshops. amidst this spring’s pre-squam craziness, she graciously took the time to answer my questions and give us all an inside peek at her inspiration behind SAW ~ a million thanks! i am always so inspired by the story, the evolution, and the process of artful and creative endeavors. it never ceases to amaze me how when you have a vision and the passion, anything is possible! elizabeth reminds us of this beautifully…here is what she shared:
It’s my unwavering belief that people are, at their core, creative beings. We just manifest (or choose not to manifest) our creativity in different ways. As a kid, all my play was make-believe with a heavy emphasis on a game called “witches” that I made up. It was a big hit with the 5 – 7 year old crowd.
My bent has always been writing– although I secretly yearned to be “an artist.” I just never thought I could be one as I believed that you had to be born that way. In all honesty, I would say my creative journey began when I went to Artfest in 2006. That event cracked my world open.
what work did you do before you became a writer and the creative soul behind Squam?
Since college, I have been a French teacher and magazine writer, predominantly. I also spent seven years working in a corporate environment as a commercialization manager (fancy title, but all it means is that I oversaw the product development and product launch teams). Currently, I teach writing at the New Hampshire Institute of Art and am the director of Squam Art Workshops.
what pushed you to change paths? what was your initial inspiration and vision for Squam, and has your vision been realized?
Artfest was the catalyst. No doubt, there were many events leading up to Artfest, but that was truly the jumping off point for me. My original inspiration and vision for Squam was to be able to bring that magic from the west coast here to the parched, granite state. I really wanted someone else to have the awakening experience I did. So, I wrote to Teesha and Tracy Moore (founders of Artfest) and explained what I wanted to do and they were extraordinarily warm and supportive of my plans, which was a huge blessing. Then, off I went.
I think what is happening is that Squam is developing and growing into its best self and I am kind of on the side watching it happen. So much derives from the people who come, the spirit they bring, and what is created through them. I liken it to a night of theater in that I am just the stage manager making sure the props are there and the curtain works etc– the magic occurs between the audience and the actors on stage and it is ephemeral. You simply cannot bottle it or repeat it or try to share it– you have to be there and be a part of it.
what steps did you take to begin creating you dream?
Lots and lots (and LOTS) of daydreaming– which is now called “creative visualization.” But I prefer calling it daydreaming . . ha. I just had a vision of what it would look like in this neck of the woods. And then, one day, I walked into Rockywold-Deephaven camps and proposed my idea. At first, they were like, um– don’t think so. I left and was disappointed, but it also freed me up enormously because I didn’t want to spend any more time on a fantasy. I would move on to different daydreams.
Then, the next day, they called me back and said, “actually, yes! Let’s do it.”
So then, I had a venue– I began sending out emails to people I knew to see if they wanted to come teach. Once I had the teachers and the venue, I held my husband’s feet over the fire and forced him to create a website for it.
Then, we opened the doors and stood back to see if anyone would come– and they did!
what have been some of your biggest challenges in getting Squam off the ground? some of your biggest surprises and rewards?
Biggest challenge is just the sheer work. My favorite compliment ever was from a most lovely woman who said to me, “my god, I spent two weeks getting my son’s birthday party together and he only had four friends come over! How did you do this?” There are so many, many details and it truly took me ten months to get the first Squam up on its feet and this year we are having two sessions, so I would say– the day-to-day tasks do get wearying, sometimes.
Of course, that becomes utterly inconsequential in light of the SURPRISES and REWARDS, which are the cards and letters I receive from people. I will never, ever, be able to adequately express the emotion I experience through these connections and the feeling of helping another person tune into their creative spirit. It defies my vocabulary.
how do you tackle the business aspects of this creative endeavor?
Fortunately, those long seven years in corporate life (which at the time seemed like a prison sentence and made NO sense whatsoever to me– like, how/why the heck did I end up here?!) gave me an MBA of experience. In fact, at one point, my company sent me to a week’s training of Executive Management at the Harvard Business School, so I actually have some good skills. Of course, for me, business is pure common sense. I categorically reject those marketing/consulting types (sorry to all the marketing/consulting types out there– this has just been my experience) who want to muddy the water with garbage and make it complicated. (NOTE: this is the same for me with “professional educators” who make the educational system a nightmare for teachers).
It’s not complicated, people.
1. Have a product or service that you are passionate about. (if you wouldn’t do this for free, than don’t do it at all because if money is your primary motivation, then your foundation is sand).
2. Be honest. (Do not promise anything you cannot deliver. Make sure to set expectations clearly).
3. Be kind. (I don’t care if someone yells at me or needs me to be their punching bag for the day. It is my job to respond with kindness– that’s just a core belief that I have. Which is not to say I am a doormat. I can be firm, but I seek to always operate from a place of kindness).
4. If you are not an accountant by training, then HIRE a bookkeeper. At the end of the day, business is all about the numbers. (I personally suck at numbers. So, I pay for this service as part of doing business).
5. Share and celebrate. Do all you can to support other small businesses that inspire you. (Another personal belief: all ships rise on a rising tide. Happiness is best shared. I am never more happy than when the people around me are experiencing success and delight. Also? I love any occasion to have a party or celebrate so I focus on small details and toss them up to the sky!)
is there a memory or a moment that you realized your dream had become a reality as well as a huge success?
Oh, I don’t know about huge success. I much prefer small successes. The dream realization moment you are referring to, however, did occur the night of opening ceremony at Squam 2008 when I stood in front of 135 people who had come from 27 different states and were all beaming up at me and, I actually did lose it. Those who were there will tell you, I couldn’t even talk I was so overcome with emotion. (Getting a little teary right now just thinking about it– am hoping to keep myself together in the future– but we’ll see)
what is your vision for Squam in the future and how do you see it evolving?
Heee. Stay tuned.
what advice would you offer someone else trying to launch their creative dream?
Oh, I have no advice. I can offer support, encouragement, compassion– if anyone wants some of that– email me! I got buckets of it.
what are some of your current creative hobbies and resources etc. that help you stay focused and inspired?
Oh god— how much time have you got? Books, art, magazines that focus on showcasing creativity, second hand stores– and, it must be said, I am addicted to flowers. A fresh bouquet can feed me for days. And? Travel. Although right now I can’t seem to do as much of that as I would like– I love going to favorite cities and nooking about. I like to be around (and actively seek out) people who are passionate in their life.
what is in your future creatively? any projects you are working on?
Um, yes. Some very good things are in development, but it’s too early to share them. Again, stay tuned.
Squam 2009featuring Amanda Blake Soule
September 16th – 20th
featuring Jenny Doh
see all classes & teachers
watch the video
film screening
SQUAM ART FAIR and
SQUAM REVELRY: RAVELRY PARTY & MARKETPLACE
Saturday, June 6th 7:30 – 9pm
Rockywold-Deephaven Camp (Holderness, NH)
SQUAM ART FAIR
Saturday, September 19th 7:30 – 9 pm
Rockywold-Deephaven Camp (Holderness, NH)
A Vision of Squam ~ First Annual Squam Art Show
Artstream Gallery, Rochester NH
Show opens Tuesday, September 1st
Opening Reception Friday, September 11th
Artist Gathering Sunday, September 20th
slurp your blog into a beautiful book
leaving a trail behind
is my intention to hearby make all my wishes known to the universe…
to chase my dreams fearlessly
to live a life of passion and intent
to always practice, learn, and aspire
to be mindful of my needs, desires and actions
to choose acceptance over judgement
to rejoice in my own unique qualities
to speak boldly with my creative voice
to nourish my body with love and goodness
to embrace the positive energy of those who surround me
to make a difference in the live’s of others
to have confidence and faith in the universe
to share light, laughter, love and peace
to not just simply follow a path
but to leave a trail behind.
our vision
*wishstudio* believes…in building an inspiring community where we can gather, connect, create, and grow. by providing this space where self exploration is encouraged and judgment is left behind, we can celebrate the beauty and potential that lies within each of us. the rich tapestry of souls is the foundation that we can build our inner strength upon, find our own unique voice, and also gain insight and inspiration.
*wishstudio* believes…that each of us is on a journey to become our very best self. with mindfulness and passion, we can take steps every day towards living the life of our dreams. our life therefore is our art, our legacy, created to bring more joy to ourselves and ultimately to the world. our stories may be told through our words, our bodies, our work, or our creations, but it is our intention that fuels our light. this light enables us to shine as brightly as possible!
*wishstudio* believes…in recognizing and uniting our collective power, positive influence, and responsibility to help take care of our greater community including ourselves and the world around us. by embracing gratitude as well as care and concern for all, we can create an empowering force for beauty, joy and positive change.
proclaim your wishes and become a part of the wishstudio community today!
***and the winner of dandelion stars is… sperlygirl ***
(please email me with your addy so i can send off your lovely print!)
ordinary sparkling moments :: lost
The Recoleta Cemetery in Buenos Aires is a human maze. It is an enclosed labyrinth of mausoleums, statues and gravesites that covers 13 acres, with walkways that go north, south, east, west and diagonal. I went there in the fall of 2006 with a group of more than twenty fellow travelers, armed with my journal, camera and long-held fascination with cemeteries. We had been in Buenos Aires for a few days before we made it to the Recoleta, and I had been looking forward to it all week.
We began our exploration of the area together, with our tour guide eager to show us some of the Recoleta’s famous residents, but I was immediately distracted by all the smaller details that caught my eye wherever I looked – rusted, broken locks, dried roses, and warped blue glass with starry splintered cracks. I was unable to take more than a few steps before stopping to take a picture, always zooming in on the tiniest of compositions. This pattern went on as our crowd moved along the aisles until we reached a fork in the maze. My group went one way, but something intrigued me the other way, so I decided, “I’ll just go take a quick picture and catch up with them in a minute.”
Fast forward no more than 60 seconds, when I returned to the point where my group and I parted ways, looked in the direction they had walked and saw that they were nowhere to be seen. I looked to the right, then to the left, then closed my eyes to see if I could hear the sounds of their chatter, but before too long I realized I had lost them. Just like that, they were gone. Despite the surreal feeling that came from losing a group of more than twenty adults in the span of one minute, my confidence remained steady, and I believed it was only a matter of time before I’d run into them again. In the meantime, I could take as many pictures as I wanted and linger over Art Deco doorways and age-worn sculptures of angels.
I have long been enamored with cemeteries, where the stories of all those who have passed seem to hang in the air like delicate cobwebs, clinging to me for the most fleeting of moments as I pass by their monuments. I have explored cemeteries in Havana, Tokyo, Kyoto, Virginia, Wisconsin, Arizona and the south island of New Zealand, and they all give me the same sense of wonder – who were these people and what did they love most about their lives? Was their death peaceful or violent, sudden or slow? What went through their minds in the instant they passed from this existence to the next? I wonder what this experience was like for them, and what’s in store for me on this same journey.
I wandered through the Recoleta for another hour or so, never finding my group. The day was getting late and dark clouds were forming, so I decided to make my way to the entrance in the hope I’d find some trace of them there. The contemplative reverie I was in as I wandered around the cemetery was immediately broken when I stepped outside the front gate, faced with the hustle, bustle and noise of a city alive with energy. And then I realized: I was lost. And alone. In Buenos Aires. With no map, and no ability to speak Spanish.
I stood there for a few minutes, frozen, beginning to have visions of roaming around Buenos Aires for the next many days. My heart began to race and my eyes darted in every direction, where nothing was familiar and no landmark showed me the way to go. I felt foolish, knowing I had made the most royal of mistakes by leaving my hotel without a map. “Well that’s it,” I thought, “I deserve to be lost forever. This is where it all ends.”
Perhaps Saint Christopher – the Patron Saint of Safe Travel – took pity on me, and paid me a visit as I stood at the entrance of the Recoleta. For suddenly, as I was looking up and down the busy streets, one particular image started to register in my mind: Taxi cabs. So simple! So obvious! I’m in a city, and I can take a taxi! And within five minutes I was sitting in the back seat of one, giving the driver the name of my hotel. By the time I paid my fare and marched triumphantly into the lobby, I felt redeemed.
I lost my way that afternoon, and I’ve lost my way in countless other situations – as a friend, with a painting, and in downtown Los Angeles. Sometimes getting lost is simply a hurdle I need to overcome, and sometimes it is the only way for me to discover a more meaningful path, a path that might be entirely different from the one on which I began. I became an art major after failing chemistry and needed a course of study that only required biology; I lost a major business deal and ended up writing my book. Getting lost doesn’t mean I’ve failed, or that I won’t find my way back home, it simply means I need to re-orient myself, and these journeys become chapters in the story of my life, the story that will go with me when I pass from this existence to the next. Maybe in that moment when I move from here to there, I will see more clearly than ever that I never was, in fact, lost, but exactly where I needed to be every step of the way.
Read more >>an artful giveaway
* to win dandelion stars, leave a comment here for caroline sending her your wishes of encouragement and success.
good luck, and thank you for sharing your creative love and support!
water meditation * get in the creative flow
millbrook meadow, rockport ma * create a cozy meditation corner in a quiet area of your house. allow space for a comfortable seat, like a cushion or pillow, and a small table or altar for your meditation focus. place on the table items that connect you with water… like a sea scented candle, shells from the ocean, a photograph of a beautiful waterfall etc. also place a small bowl of water in your corner.
* begin your meditation by taking a nice relaxing shower. this part of the meditation is to awaken your senses to the actual physical feeling of flow. watch the water flow, and think about how it makes you feel. allow yourself to enjoy and relax into the sensation of flowing water all around you.
* next, drink a full glass of pure water. drink it slowly and mindfully and notice the water move through your body. think about how it feels, this internal flow of water.
* finally, sit comfortably in your meditation corner. place your hands in water mudra (tips of thumb and pinky finger touching) and relax your other fingers. focus again on the feeling of flow. as you sit, repeat an affirmation that inspires you to move towards your creative goals. one such affirmation could be “i trust myself to follow my creative dreams”.
* use this meditation whenever you feel you need reconnecting with your inner creative flow…it is always there ready to be reawakwned!
wishmamas :: heartfelt stories about the extraordinary journey of art and motherhood
karen maezen miller
four seasons: one life
photo by denise lynnette andrade
Calling my creative process a process is like calling my meditation a meditation. The words dignify the experience far beyond recognition.
My creative process usually seems like chaos and my meditation feels like pandemonium. Yet they both teach me to accept and allow my whole life to unfold as the ultimate creative act. All I have to do is trust it.
I am by nature a fast starter and a late bloomer. Not until I was 42, after a 20-year career in marketing and PR, and in my second, midlife marriage, did I become a mother. I didn’t begin writing for myself until my daughter was two, so my writing life is inextricable from my mothering life. That’s good. Because although it feels like I sacrifice everything for her it turns out I sacrifice nothing.
So a day in my creative life goes like this: first up, make coffee, feed dog, make breakfast, rouse kid, walk dog, return emails, get lost in the drift, exercise, sort laundry, answer emails, read blogs, get lost in the ebb, think about dinner, pull weeds, pick up dog poop, fold laundry, supervise homework, buy birthday gift, check blog stats, hound about chores, cook, get lost in the flow.
When exactly do I create what someone might consider creative? Everywhere, anywhere. When do I write it down? While I’ve got one eye watching my daughter’s gymnastics class, or right now as I scribble this in the 86-degree swelter of my front seat while she’s inside taking piano lessons.
I don’t only write on the run. Sometimes hours open up at my desk, my fortress and my anchor. More often a word, a phrase, a sentence arrives on the breeze as I yank a weed in my garden or walk my dog Molly around the block. For me, that block is like a breadcrumb trail leading me to someplace I’ve never been.
I don’t task myself with creating my work so much as receiving it. And that means being completely open to whatever is happening in my life right now. My dog and my daughter are very good at steering me toward maximum creative tension!
Some time ago through my Zen practice I let go of the idea of a separate kind of creative space and time. Except for when I check into a hotel by myself, that certain someplace and sometime never come. And to cherish that notion only puts me at odds with my life as it is. I don’t want to battle my life. It’s only one life! And everyone I love is in it!
I live in a 100-year-old garden that will be here long after I am. Watching and working in it, I see my life as the sequence of seasons, each with its own purpose and rhythm. We do not push the sun across the sky, or force the spring into the summer.
For someone who appears to have accomplished so little, I realize perfectly well that I am writing every day – blog posts, essays, book proposals, pitches, pages and even slow-boat chapters. I may not finish what I’d like to when I’d like to, but I know that I always finish on time.
A Zen retreat for one day, three days, or a week supercharges my flow. I’ve had whole essays and chapters arrive intact into my hands during one half-hour meditation period. These intense periods of not thinking and not doing are the source of all the good I do.
When I grow weary and disappointed, as I so often do, I remind myself that I am not the maker or the order-taker in this life. I am this life, and it is unfinished. Even when it is finished it will be unfinished. And so I take my time.
Karen is hosting a one-day retreat on Saturday, June 20 in Sierra Madre called Mother’s Summer Plunge to refresh and renew spirits before the summer dry spell.
For information, visit http://www.mothersplunge.com/
blowing bubbles in a concrete jungle :: a joy rebel’s take on life
In early 2009, I had come to a cross roads in my creative journey. Like many out in blog land, I didn’t dedicate time to explore my creativity until after I’d settled down with the obligatory education and ‘good’ job. Deeper and deeper I have explored over the past few years, trying out jewelry crafting, painting, mixed media, illustration, paper crafting and then found my siren song in photography and writing. This has not just been an artistic journey, one explored through the five senses. Uncovering my creativity has also been (actually, mostly been) about unfolding my authentic self.
See, here’s the thing. I would stumble upon an artist out there that I admired, appreciated and whose work I enjoyed. Something about them and their work resonated with me. Because it did, I thought-sort of unconsciously-that meant that’s what my artistic expression and life was supposed to look like.
Oh, and this is where I tell you that I’d spent a lot of time trying to be what would get other people to like me. Just so you know where I’m coming from. So I’d adore an artist that wore flowy skirts and fabulous jewelry or someone who created amazing mixed media pieces and I’d try wearing some dangle bracelets or playing with some mixed media elements. But it wouldn’t fit. I may drool over an artist and their work but I am not them. Their artistic expression isn’t mine and I would get so frustrated trying to model my own journey after theirs and end up feeling incomplete or unhappy with the results.
What I realized was this: it wasn’t the artist or even their art that I resonated with (well, not totally), it was that they radiated because they were expressing their authentic self. Which brings us to earlier this year and me asking the question: who am I, really?
Enter the whole joy rebel thing. I was trying to figure out a touch phrase, a mantra, a way of connecting with my authenticity. Joy rebel is something that reminds me that I can embrace positivity and uplift others while still being the rocker chic that I am. Or…to put it another way, those words remind me to stay connected with the real, amazing me.
My intention is for those words to inspire you to be your authentic, amazing you. To connect with your own creative expression and know that it matters very much. With each column, I’ll share some of my learning’s on how to be a bombastic joy rebel out there in life and work and play.
Thank you so much for coming along for the ride. (photo courtesy google search)
creative compass :: finding your voice
Often our voices get shut down by negative feedback, stress, tension in our minds and in our bodies. Chances are you’ve had many experiences that contributed to the lockdown of your voice. You burst into song as a little kid, and someone said you were tone deaf. You said the wrong thing, and it cost you dearly. If you’re a woman, you were encouraged to be lady-like, to stop laughing so loudly and expressing yourself so vigorously.
And in the midst of that, you lost your voice.
You started censoring yourself, sharing less of who you are and what you were thinking.
You hid your voice because it was safer.
In my 20s, I was in a relationship with a man who had a great need to talk. So much so, that I started to think he didn’t care if I said anything at all. And so I stopped talking. I decided I wouldn’t say a thing until he asked me a question or invited me in. It didn’t happen. For months. It didn’t hurt him at all. It hurt me. Without expressing my thoughts and feelings, I lost touch with them. Even after that short time, I had to coax my voice to return.
You can also lose your voice behind a disguise. In order to fit in, maybe you took on a voice other than your own. Maybe you learned to talk with a voice of authority. Maybe you put on your “talking to the kids” voice. Maybe your voice is full of sweet softness, not because you are but because you don’t want to offend.
Or sometimes even without all the emotional stuff, our voices get inhibited by the stress in our bodies. We slump at our computers, compressing our spines. We tense our jaws and raise our shoulders, making the path of our voice smaller and tighter.
How do we invite our voices back?
Start with Humming
For our thoughts to flow with ease from our minds, through our bodies and into the world, we need to clear the way, releasing tensions and limitations. Humming is a great place to start. It’s easy. It’s subtle. And the vibrations help loosen up the parts of your body that support your voice. Humming allows you to literally feel your own voice.
Take a moment right now and hum. Don’t worry about finding a tune or a song. Just make a sound. What’s it like? Are you looking around to see if anyone’s listening? Do you feel silly? Scared? Close your eyes and really feel your hum. Where are the vibrations showing up? You might find them in your lips, teeth, neck, head, jaw or chest. Put your hands where that vibration is and feel what you’re creating. That’s your precious voice. Welcome it home.
What is the sound of your voice?
Every voice is beautiful. Maybe yours is bold and boisterous. Maybe it’s gentle and warm. Maybe it’s full of giggles and mischief. Whatever its sound, it’s a part of the world’s chorus, and we need you in the song.
Read more >>
"setting up shop" to define your creative world
melissa averinos and melba mcmullin
releasing clutter :: letting go to find yourself
Read more >>
January :: Begin
Wishful Living Workbook
available by downloadArchives
